Honesty

Well, it's been awhile since my last post.
I'm getting to the virtues that I find more difficult, the ones that make me uncomfortable, the ones that my ego would really rather not work on. I wasn't ready to face this one.

Honesty and non-lying. Self-honesty is a necessity here before I can even start to work on this in other areas of my life. And to be honest, this one needs work for me. I don't like being judged; I don't like feeling exposed and vulnerable. I have lied in the past to protect my ego.

I just realized something. I project a lot of that on other people. I tend to lie because I think other people are as judgmental as I have been. Huh. That's not very loving towards them, or towards myself. Some people are judgmental, but there have been times when I've just assumed they would be that way, and lied, in essence stealing their opportunity to show loving-kindness.

Ouch. Yep. This one needs work.

Giving and receiving

So far this month in focusing on increasing my generosity, I have:

Got sick and had to be on the receiving end of some generosity

Enjoyed giving to make up some care packages of necessities and self-care items for the homeless

And decided to quit my part time job and move into massage therapy full time (my last day is almost a month away, but notice has been given)

It's been a lesson in not only giving, but receiving and trusting that my needs will be met along the way. It was odd that in a month when I had decided to focus on being more generous, I was in a position where I needed someone to be generous to me. Bill did just that, he took such good care of me. The last time I felt that cared for and loved when I was sick.... I was a little kid and my mom was taking care of me. 

I want to be rich in friends, rich in giving, rich in the amount of people whose lives have been improved because I was here... But never so proud that I can not accept generosity from others. 

Refusing to accept the generosity of others IS STEALING. It robs the other person of the joy of giving and the good karma that comes with it.

Generosity and Non-stealing

Ok, so I've been slacking off a bit on the blog posts. It's June 4th already!
My June is dedicated to practicing generosity and non-stealing. What this means should be pretty self-explanatory. But let's take it a few steps further than not shop-lifting and occasionally giving to a charitable organization.

How can I be generous with my time, talents, abilities, towards friends, family, neighbors, strangers?
Bill normally does the dishes, so I started by washing some dishes this morning, something I don't normally do (in fact, that's only the second time I've washed the dishes since Bill moved in).
I have a sponsored child through World Vision, and a couple days ago I got a letter from World Vision with an opportunity to give her a little something extra this month. I'm gonna do it.

A couple days ago I met one of my neighbors, a gentleman in his late 80s named Morris. He is very nice and lives alone, his wife of 60 years moved out a few years ago and moved closer to their children. I think I'm going to back him some cookies and take them over and visit on my next day off work.

The following is an excerpt from a blog that I found this morning, and in practicing non-stealing, which also applies to intellectual property, let's make sure we credit our sources. This is from http://zenhabits.net/how-to-create-the-abundance-mindset/

Here are 6 ways to give and create the abundance mindset:

• Are you short on time? If that’s the case, give away some of your time. Take time to give to others. You don’t have to dedicate 90% of your day to serving others – that’s not what I’m saying. Just find that balance between giving and receiving. Find an organization or a person that you really love and volunteer some of your time. Give your time away.
• Don’t feel loved? You’ve got to give some before you get some. Give away some hugs. Go out right now and give 5 people you know a big hug. I guarantee right after you do this, you’ll feel great. You’ll feel like a million bucks! Why? Because you feel loved. And you can only feel loved when you give that love to others. Go out right now and hug 5 people!
• Short on Cash? Give some away. Yes, you heard me right. I’m not saying you should sell the farm, far from it. But you may consider giving money to a charity, giving money to a friend who needs it, or even giving money to a panhandler in the street.  Givers gain.
• Are you stuck? Do you want to get unstuck?  Help others first. Think of someone you know that is having a similar problem. And think of a way that you could help them based on what you know.  Write down what you plan to do to help this person and then go out and do it. I’m telling you this works!  When you help others wholeheartedly, help will always come back to you.
• Lacking self-belief? Yup, you know it. You’ve got to give it away! If you lack self-belief, then give away that belief to others.  What do I mean?  Find someone you know who is lacking in self-confidence or in self-belief and give them a boost.  Spend some time with this person and feed their mind.  Tell them how much you believe in them.  Tell them how successful you see them becoming; how you always knew they could make it. Tell them how proud you are of them. Fill their mind with positive ideas.   Instill belief in others and belief will come flowing abundantly to you.
• Short on ideas? This is my favorite. If you’re short on creative ideas, give them away! Give others creative ways to increase business, find a new stimulating career or improve their health.  Give ideas away and ideas will flood right back to you.

With all of these tips, you have to start with where you are.  You can’t give what you don’t have.  Be willing to give what you got from where you are and I promise you – abundance will flow into your life.  You will be actively creating the abundance mindset.

Non-injury

May is almost over, but before I switch gears to generosity and non-stealing, I'd like to talk a bit about non-injury. 

A couple times this month, someone gave me a look or a comment when I killed an insect that was indoors. 

I'm not a vegetarian, not yet anyways, I likely will be someday. However, I don't eat pork or red meat. 

Too many people make non-injury something that only applies to other species, no harming animals or insects. While that is all well and good, often we humans simultaneously hold judgemental attitudes, negative thoughts, and grudges towards one another. I simply think that if we can't hold to non-injury, even in our thoughts, towards our fellow humans, than what good does it really do to be vegetarian or relocate insects outside instead of killing them? How about we try not judging one another first?

Checking in

Some days are easy, others are not. Some days it's easy to be loving and non-judgemental, some days old habits creep back up. 

One thing I have noticed that has changed for the better this month is my relationship with one of my coworkers. I am finding it easier to be patient with this person and I'm not so easily perturbed. I think that's awesome.

Have any of you been working on this with me? Increasing your loving-kindness quotient? I'd love to hear about your experiences this month! There's a comment section below, I'd love to get some comments! 

Presence

I have spent the last 5 days in an intense workshop on integrated manual therapy with James Waslaski, who is a master (and I don't use that term lightly) in my field of work. I have the honor of being one of his teaching assistants when he comes to this part of the world. This is a man who can restore full, pain-free range of motion to a shoulder that hasn't been able to move in decades, in about 20 minutes, and the treatment itself is also pain-free. (My pranic healing friends will understand the significance of this... his aura is about 300 meters thick.)

Throughout the seminar, it was stressed over and over again that in order to be able to facilitate healing at that level, the therapist must be present. Body, soul, spirit, mind, attention, every part of the therapist must be engaged in the process, and the therapist must educate and engage the patient's energy in what is going on as well. It must be a collaborative energetic effort between both the therapist and the client. If the person sleeps through the treatment, little to zero benefit will result. 

No wandering thoughts, no distractions, calm mind, listening to the patient not just with the ears, but with the heart, soul, and finger tips. Engage the patient, educate, involve them in the process. I'm not there yet, but I'll keep practicing. 

What I did right this week: I was attentive and not distracted while my mentor and teacher was teaching. I listened fully, and found many "tweaks" I will be applying to my treatments in the coming weeks.

What I did wrong this week: I had several judgmental thoughts regarding one person who was in attendance, who was not behaving professionally in my opinion. My mentor had a much better and more graceful response. I was particularly impressed by his humility and grace in the situation when someone almost started arguing with him in front of the class. I intend to learn to be more like that.

Listen

I've been thinking a lot today about which areas of loving-kindness I most need to improve on. It affects every area of life, every time there is an interaction with any other human being, and even my relationship with myself, but if there is one area that I could most use improvement in, it is listening with full attention.

Giving someone my full attention when they are talking to me, not being distracted by the computer or my cell phone or my own thoughts about other things (including what I'm going to say next) is something that needs improvement in my life. Too often I've been distracted or not listening when a friend needed someone to talk to, or when a loved one needed my attention.

For the first 10 days of this month, my focus will be to increase my attentiveness in conversations with other people, to show people loving-kindness by giving them my attention when we're talking, and to decrease my level of distraction.

"I listen with full attention" is a wonderful affirmation/mantra/thought to carry with me daily through the next 10 days. 

Can you imagine how it would transform a business if all of the employees practiced this with every interaction with customers and clients? What it could do for family relationships? How it could improve friendships?

Reminder: loving-kindness also means being quick to forgive yourself and others when they fail, and we will from time to time make mistakes.